Leaders Asking for Help…A Paradox to Integrity

On a daily basis, I bet you as a leader are engaged in such diverse discussions and decision making that you would think a double personality would be helpful. It never ceases to amaze me how leaders are growing more and more into generalist and the expectation of your knowledge banks is limitless. I can say from my experience, that expectations were probably misplaced. As a leader, there is only so much you have experienced or learned to help you face daily challenges without some help.

Part of the leadership challenge is to know when you need to ask for help.

Ouch, how many of you subconsciously just said leaders don’t ask for help?

The truth is, in the dynamic environments we find ourselves; leaders need to know when it’s time to call for help. It is paramount to success to know when you notify the Calvary that a support is needed. Waiting too long and disaster could be chasing you out the door.

In recent events in healthcare, it’s been identified leadership failed to act, the leaders either didn’t know about the issue or didn’t bother to ask for help in solving the challenge before it became a public event. Breaches in EHRs, the Veterans Administration issues with patient care, and the report of large teaching hospitals closing units because of poor retention rates present leadership with a troubling future and with no easy answers. But your senior leadership wants answers and more importantly results. Reaching out doesn’t mean you are failing, it means you are working not to fail.

Leadership in many organizations is a competitive event. So many leaders view asking for help as a sign of a deficiency. I would argue it is a sign of awareness and knowledge. It is the fool who believes they have all the answers and by not asking for help when needed, you are playing in a field of fools.

The reality of the world we operate is the dynamics are constantly changing and information can become a stumbling block. The saying “paralysis by analysis” is so true; we have such a voracious appetite for information that we keep asking for more. We become so crushed by this information we can’t move to make a decision. And when the mountain of information is flowing, it inhibits your ability then to decipher it and use it for any decision making. Additionally, if you are unsure of what you need to ask, this deluge of information can confuse and frustrate you to the point of not knowing what questions to ask.

The problem then with leaders are we do not ask for help when we need it. Oh, we are good to tell our followers to ask for help, we provide training and resources to support our followers to do their job, and we congratulate those who reach out and overcome a problem. What we don’t do well is follow our own advice. We seemed to have created a culture where the leader should not reach out for assistance or ask for help.

I see this as a flaw in our integrity. If you promote a culture of query, if you support and encourage your followers to ask for help, then why don’t you as the leader? By not asking for help you create the “do as I say not as I do” conundrum with your followers. They know when you don’t ask for help when it is needed. It is very transparent to them. The challenge is we are not doing what we say is important to us and this character undermines the integrity of the leader.

A leader’s time is bombarded constantly for attention. Short-timed taskers, deadlines compounding, and an unrealistic attitude that as a leader I can do everything drains leaders. Many times, leaders are so overwhelmed by either imposed or self-imposed requirements they have no idea what they have to do or even if they have the resources or knowledge to complete the task. Add to this the fear of losing respect for asking for help and the problem, like procrastination, continues to move forward. As the leader you become more ineffective and valued less by your organization.

Let me share 5 steps to assist in getting you to the realization that asking for help as a leader is part of being a dynamic and impacting leader.

1. Reframe Thinking: It starts at the beginning. You need to value that asking for help is a sign of strength, character, and supports your integrity. The outdated philosophy which states asking for help is a sign of weakness is detrimental to your leadership, followers, and organization. You own the first part and you need to reframe the self-talk which is holding you back. Reaching out for assistance and asking for help defines you as a credible leader who is aware of their knowledge limits. Most importantly you are professional enough to ask when you don’t know and that humility serves your followers well.
2. Know What to Ask: As discussed when dealing with too much information, ensure you know what to ask help on. Leaders today can chase issues down “bunny holes” only to find out the answer doesn’t answer the question they really have in the first place. As you are tackling an issue, ensure you know what the problem is and what you are most unsure. Expend your energy understanding the problem so you engage the right people to help with the solution. Don’t waste your time on an issue that isn’t really your problem.
3. Know Your Colleagues: If you have followed any of my blogs, you know I am an ardent believer in mentors and professional peer colleagues. If you are building your network of support, you should include in this assessment the strengths and weaknesses of your support team. By knowing what your support team is good at from either their self-reporting or your observation of their actions, you can then narrow down who is most likely in the position to support you and have the answer to your question.
4. Build Your Team: With each new leadership position, you will have new and different challenges. It is now you need to add to your team some experts in areas where you are lacking. Pick their brain, ask them questions, and learn from their wisdom and experience. Always be in the lookout for another leader’s strengths. Influential leaders have a circle of go-to leaders they use for advice and support.
5. Encourage a Culture of Query: Leaders need to foster this culture of query in their organization. Learning from one another grows deeper roots of trust and teamwork. When you encourage others to ask questions and to seek answers you also support creative thoughts and ideas. And in these ideas are some of your greatest future successes for your organization. Criticizing or demeaning those who ask questions will undermine your efforts and set your organization back. Give one snarky comment about someone asking questions and you are bankrupt.

Leaders need to be courageous. They need to understand their limits and have a paddock full of leaders who they can reach out too and obtain assistance. Asking for help is integral to your integrity as a leader.

Leading with you,

Dean

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