Innovate Grateful Leadership

We have just completed a Thanksgiving week around our home and preparing for the rush of Christmas activities. It seems this time of year things are exciting, people seem more focused, and there is some goodwill to spread around. It also can create havoc and unmentionable stress.

During the past week, I was challenged by work issues, world events, family commitments, and just general life happenings. It was also during this time I noticed a lot of coworkers and friends along with the petri dish of social media extolling the thanklessness a lot of us have or experience about our jobs. As leaders though, having a bad day can trickle down to everyone around and below you. Soon, that toxic behavior has taken over your unit or organization.

Thankfulness.

Are you thankful for your job? Do you regularly complain about your position and what you have to do every day…to everyone who will listen? Do you ever find anything about your job you like? Do you like yourself?

In our culture, it seems the norm is to complain. We are vocal and gripe about our job, our boss, the workload, the day of the week, a meeting, a colleague, the worthlessness of the bureaucracy in which we work, or just about the weather and traffic. The casual greeting of “hey how are you doing?” is usually followed with “I’d complain but no one is listening” has been a mantra for too many. I’m speaking to myself as well.

Do you see how this type of attitude and behavior is counterproductive to a positive, effective, and influential leader?

So let’s look at a different attitude which might make a great difference in your leadership…gratefulness.

I think naturally many have a grateful heart or attitude. The challenge then is transferring this attitude to our leadership and profession. It seems too many that I have engaged think if they say they are grateful for their job is to admit we feel lucky we have our job. Well, let me tell you…you are lucky to have your job and profession!

As a leader in nursing, as a leader in healthcare, you have a vital impact on the lives of people who can never care for themselves. You interceded regularly on behalf of those who have no voice. You mind the gap between life and death and bring knowledge and skills which allows people to heal. You complete a thankless shift regularly, belittled by colleagues and other professions, abused by patients and families, working against organizational rules which bind your hands, yet you still act brilliantly. And you still come to work.

As a nurse and a nurse leader you are lucky to have such trust given to you by just having the title nurse. Now it is time to carry that gratefulness into our daily lives. We need to live this gratefulness in our leadership, lives, and in our behaviors. Let me share with you 4 ways we can make this change as a lifestyle change in our leadership.

1. Reorient your world view. You need to think differently, you need to act differently, you need to look differently. The beginning challenge is to change how you think, you need to reframe your perspective from self to gratefulness. It starts on how you view your life and how you want to be seen by others. Critical to this is to see this objectively and less from an emotional state. You have an education, you have a job, you have means to provide for yourself and family. By world standards, you are part of the 5% of the wealthiest people.

Don’t let yourself to succumb to the victim mentality. Don’t accept what the world or your negative colleagues are telling you is unfair. Take account of all you have accomplished, become aware of how fortunate you are to have health and ability to work and make a difference, and be grateful patients and families along with your organization invite you into their lives to make a difference.

2. Re-evaluate your message. Have you noticed when you start to complain how everyone around you complains? Even more exasperating is the “one-up-manship” that happens when you complain and everyone after you has to complain their challenges are worse than yours. Why do we do that? The cliché that misery loves company is true. And when you find yourself in this gang of whiners and complainers, then you become the bully posse sucking the life out of your organization and it is difficult to break out. And some will wonder why the morale is low and many believe they work in a toxic environment. Look in the mirror and wonder why.

It’s time to start practicing positive talk and walking away from negative conversations and people. It takes practice to recognize when this is happening because it is so pervasive. But once you make yourself sensitive to what you say or what you let influence how you feel about your job, you will understand how this has impacted you. Watch what you say and how you say it too. Stop and walk away when the complaining begins. Get yourself right before you start working on your revolution to change your environment.

3. Recognize you have a choice. Gratefulness is a choice. Just like what attitude you have about your job, your organization, and your family. It’s time to start giving thanks for what you have, the life you lead, the profession you have selected, and the impact you are making. Your gratefulness will become infectious and those around you cannot help but to be impacted by the change of attitude. But only you have the ability to choose to be grateful. You also choose to act on that attitude and use those behaviors in your leadership.

4. Reprogram your default. The most difficult step (as if the first 3 are walks in the park), is changing your default attitude. Once you have gained a new perspective on your view of the world, started altering your message, and accepting that you control your attitude and behaviors, then setting your new default to be a more grateful leader is priority. We all know we have default settings for how we react to certain stimulus. Think about the irrational fear when you see a HUGE spider in your shower after you are in and all wet. You know default of screaming like a 5 year old where you throw the soap, a razor, and use the shower curtain in a vain attempt to protect yourself from the horrific arachnid who is about to eat your eye balls out. OH, is that just my default?

The ability to reset your default means your active approach to have a more grateful attitude becomes more the norm than the exception. You want to replace thanklessness, ungrateful attitude, and negative thoughts with a grateful attitude and positive approach to every stimulus you encounter. If you do something long enough it becomes your habit, your default. It is when your default becomes one from a grateful perspective that you then exude gratefulness in your leadership.

When you begin your transformation, I can promise it will be difficult. You need to support an aggressive plan that includes the four steps above and ends when you begin to see and others notice the change you have had in your leadership and attitude. So let me finish with 2 quick and easy steps to get you moving.

1. Wake up grateful: Before your feet hit the floor, take 45 seconds to identify several things you are grateful for in your life. They can be personal or professional, but start your day with a grateful attitude. POWERFUL IMPACT!
2. End your day grateful: When your head hits the pillow, take another 45 seconds and remind yourself of all the things that went on in your day that you are grateful for and meditate on them. Engage this attitude to remind yourself you have a lot to be grateful. POWERFUL LEGACY!

Gratitude is a great foundation to grow your leadership. Being negative has not produced any influential or significant impacts in your life. Take the chance to be grateful, extol that attitude, and your behaviors will impact the people you lead!

Leading with you!

Dean

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