Gentlemen and Leaders

I’ve shared before that sometimes inspiration for blog topics just present themselves to me and I can’t shake the need to share. Such is this blog post. Life and the observation of the things around you present many opportunities for learning, relearning, or epiphany moments. The opportunity to learn from others or to share in what they are learning can be a potent teacher, I hope you will take this post as an opportunity to ponder on your leadership or the leadership your experiencing.

Recently, my 14 year old son and I were having a discussion with my wife. As with all things with my son, the last born child, the only boy, and quite the jokester, it is NEVER a dull moment. Our discussion though was on the traits of being a gentleman. Now we have been having these discussions with him since he was old enough to talk. It started with gentleman hold the door open for their Mommy and sisters, let your ladies exit first, and most importantly, we don’t complain about dinner that Mommy has worked hard on, even if it is shredded zucchini (BTW, still working on that one)!

As my son has matured, he impresses me with how much he has learned. The training continues! After our recent encounter with Hurricane Matthew, we spent a lot of time walking our neighborhood to get out. I shared that a gentleman always walks on the side of traffic to help protect his Mom and sisters. Not a problem. Then as the example went on, we talked about defending them if there was danger. Now in the words of my daughter, this just got real.

My son said “but why should I put myself in danger, they can protect themselves just as much as I can. I don’t want to do that.” A choice was made.

What a wonderful opportunity to talk about a higher level of being a gentleman. As we discussed the reason why, he was really feeling concerned, frightened, alarmed and said, “but I don’t want to do that, it’s not fair and why should I do that?” I know it sounded like a broken record to him, but I gave a standard answer to that question he has raised a lot when it comes to being a gentleman: “Little Man, being a gentleman is not easy, if it were, more men would be doing it. It takes action, not just words.”

Being a gentleman, or a lady, is like being a leader. It takes action!

A leader is so much more than just having a title. As you and I have seen, many leaders are leaders in title only. You know the challenge so often in healthcare, of getting to a leadership position can be like an episode of survivor (only with more clothing); if you out wit, out last, and out play, you become the leader. In true honesty, all you have to do to become the leader is be the longest serving. And for many they just stop there with the leadership development because “they have arrived”.

When a leader is first beginning their journey, it is so easy to think “I have made it.” You can fall to the false belief that I know it all and obviously I am good because I am now the leader. Additionally, you run into many problems with the power control you may institute when you believe that since you are the leader you have all the right answers. Though this is a common problem for new leaders, I have seen more experienced leaders fall victim to this paralysis of leadership development at every level. It doesn’t take long sometimes and the challenge is you don’t recognize you are in it.

Once you fall victim to this way of thinking, then it is not long before you stop producing like a leader. Your actions begin to respond to the stimulus you most fear. That could be a superior, a culture of an organization, or to modeling a leader you respected. Leadership is action and leadership takes actions in many avenues in your professional life.

Once you aspire or determine you want a leadership position in your organization then you should be prepared for action. That action can take many forms such as continuing your higher education, learning new skill sets required for the position, or developing habits which will make you successful in your current and future career opportunities. The greatest threat to your future success is you lose sight of the action required to keep you focused on leading in your organization.

Like so much else in healthcare and leadership, you need a plan for keeping yourself on point in your professional development. Clearly, left to our own vices, most of us would probably not put much attention to leadership development. The easy answer is to say that because I am around leaders all day, because I am trusted in my organization, the reason I am in my position is because I am that good. My friend, “that” good will only last till the next big challenge comes for which you have not prepared.

Similarly to teaching my son about gentleman qualities and characteristics, I teach him the “why” they are important for his development. He can then critically think through other challenges if he knows the why. If there is any doubt you need to be very aware of your professional development, then I offer you this. In Schyns and Schilling (2013) destructive leadership, leadership not prepared for the task or needs of the organization, had a destructive impact on outcomes, retention, and individual performance. Being a leader not prepared makes you destructive. Destructive for long does not help you advance in your career.

Take action:

1. Needs assessment: When you enter a new job, scan the environment, meet with your boss, and meet other leaders in your area and discuss the skills needed to be successful for your people. This should clearly outline what will be needed to be successful now and in the future.
2. Make a professional development plan: Now is the time to make a plan to improve yourself professionally and personally. Ensure you capture short and long term goals so your development is ongoing and responsive. Don’t be afraid to change the plan as your needs or the job requires. Remain flexible and committed to the plan.
3. Ask for feedback: Clearly you need feedback. We all need it. So don’t stop asking for it. Set yourself up for success by listening to what is said for understanding, don’t listen to refute. Clearly look for patterns and then add the remediation for this challenge to your professional development plan.

My son will continue with his training long after he leaves my home. He will have to put into actions those behaviors to make him successful in the quest to becoming an honest gentleman. You owe it to yourself, your staff, and your organization to do the same in your leadership development.

Leading with you!

Dean

Reference:

Schyns, B., & Schilling, J., (2013) How bad are the effects of bad leaders? A meta-analysis of destructive leadership and its outcomes. The Leadership quarterly, 24(1), 138-158

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