Polishing the Leadership Crown: Stepping Away From Negative Thoughts

If you have been in leadership for any amount of time, let’s say just a day, you know that being in a position of authority does not usually come with many uplifting requests or praises for leading well. There are days when you know you did well, you get the praise of a job well done, and some may have shared the positive impact your leadership has made in their lives. In the times where this is not happening regularly, well, the valley of the shadow of death seems to be the location you have taken up residence.

Personally, I am usually the positive, optimistic cheerleader for my teams and organizations. If you are that person too, you understand the great satisfaction it is keep others motivated and inspired. If that is not your personality, you know it can be challenging to find a happy spot to launch yourself from to motivate your team.

But there are times when even the happiest cheer-LEADER has difficult days.

So what do you do?

I wish I could say this blog will be grounded in research. It is really just a soul searching share and idea gathering for “us” as leaders to discuss. What have you done to help get your “joy” back? What have you done for a fellow leader to boost them out of funk we find ourselves in from time to time?

In transparency, I would like to share two personal experiences and the outcomes these have had on my leadership.

There was a fellow leader that worked for me. She once shared with me at a difficult time and provided words of wisdom at a time of need. Shirron Brisseau came to discuss with me an issue in her section, but upon seeing my demeanor she chose wisely at that moment not to share her challenge. Instead, she chose to share this with me. Shirron said it was obvious I was fighting many battles and trying to do what was right for the team and organization and that I was being attacked for my stance. Her sage advice was “Sir, don’t let them still your joy.”

How simple. How very honest. How very difficult to do at times when you feel like you are standing alone. The joy I have in my job has a lot to do with me, my attitude, and how I choose to process others thoughts or opinions. In those times when I feel the most like I don’t want to press on or that I feel like the attacks never stop, Shirron said “don’t let them steal your joy.” Amazing advice and true. I have at many times found myself mired in the “pity party” and the “woe is me” thought and at those times, I truly do not have joy in my heart or for my job. I let someone else dictate how I feel and how I will respond.

The joy I have in my job cannot be dictated by others. I have many options in which to ground my thoughts as you do. Some choose a spiritual grounding, others in academics, social, family, or experience. The key as Shirron shared with me was for me to have it and not to give it away. A precious commodity! I now share Shirron’s wisdom with you!

Another time I was talking with a leader outside nursing who was just fumbling to find value in their work. This leader had stated that after all their work, after all the effort and teamwork, he felt defeated in a recent activities. I have known this leader for years and admired their absolute tenacity for providing mentorship, effective strategy planning, and innovative ideas to problems. I never knew they felt failure. To be honest, I felt foolish to think they never failed.

It was all I could do not to jump through the phone and say snap out of it. I took the time that day to remind my friend of all the amazing things he has accomplished. The timing was easy to share all the impacts this leader had on the organization and the number of followers who still discuss the positive impact his leadership had on them professionally and personally. Then I shared how I look to him for guidance when I need a strategic view and innovative idea on a challenge because the ideas he generates have been invaluable to me. He was a leader I could depend upon.

This leader stopped for a moment and said thanks. He stated he doesn’t always take a look at the positive he has done because it is easy to identify, and usually there is a chorus telling you, where you have not met the mark in your job as a leader. Humbled, my friend was just thankful for my words of edification. And for my part, it was easy because it was true. And how simple, how fulfilling to share with a leader the impact they have on your life!

Why is it as leaders we are challenged to sometimes realize we actually do good work?

So my challenge to you as a leader is two-fold:

1. Don’t let anyone steal your joy: remember you control the power of others words on your life. You chose your attitude, your emotion, and what words you focus on for your direction. As the leader, you ground yourself in what provides you solid ground to do your mission. Refuse to let anyone else dictate your perception of you, your leadership, or your work.
2. Polish the leadership crown of a fellow leader: You understand the difficulties of leadership. So you should understand that other leaders also have times when they just need a positive word or encouragement spoken into their lives. This is a tough journey and it is made easier by a friend who understands that and is there to ensure you understand your value to the organization. It costs nothing to uplift and promote a fellow leader.

What else do you do to get back from the dark side of a negative self-perception? Please share with us other things you do which helps you polish someone’s leadership crown and to keep your joy!

Leading with you.

Dean

Leadership is a fabulous journey when you share your lessons with others!

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