Accepting Feedback: The Challenge

The challenges in leadership never seem to end. When you are working with other humans, interactions can sometimes go awry. As you look to improve your organization, at some point, providing feedback for change is required. I have yet to work with the perfect team which needed no guidance or feedback. Likewise, I still need feedback in my leadership and job.

How well do you take feedback? Do you accept it?

As you have met new people working in your organization, have you ever met someone and at the first interaction you just knew they were going to be special? A few years ago, I started in a new organization and met someone like that. This member was new to the organization and profession as a medical technician. There was something about the way he moved in the unit. His focus, his dependability, his openness to learn new things, and his leadership at a young age was impressive. In those years since, I have had the chance to catch up with him and watch him grow in his profession and leadership.

The other day, he must have had “one of those days.” I want to share his thoughts on an encounter that day…

“Constructive criticism is a good thing people! If you vent to someone who has an active role in your successes and failures, hopefully they are big enough to give it to you straightforward and candid. It may not be what you want to hear but it might just be what you need to hear. Be big enough to open your eyes and see that what you’re doing might work better by trying a different approach from another perspective. It’s part of growth and learning.”

Ian Patterson shared that word. If I could have summed up accepting feedback to other leaders, I could not have done it better. So much so that I think Ian has hit on something we as leaders do not do well. Giving and receiving feedback is a challenge. I struggle with it as I know most of you do too. Giving and receiving. It goes with our culture of all or nothing success. You are either a winner or a loser. You either have it together or you need feedback. It’s whacked.

Why do we act like that as a leader? As an organization?

Changing how we focus on feedback takes effort and time on our part as leaders. When you naturally have to make adjustments in another’s work or behavior, the walls around us go up. I have shared to nursing leaders from informal roundtables to national conferences, providing effective feedback is a critical skill set you must practice, correct, and master if you want your organization to thrive.

There are 4 things to remember when you are giving feedback…and when you need to receive feedback.

1. Dread: No matter what anyone says, it is the rare person who at some point does not dread receiving feedback. And a little secret, people dread giving feedback too. If you understand from the beginning that this is not something everyone looks forward too, then you can prepare yourself to provide feedback in a manner it can be accepted. It is normal, but you must overcome that thought and move into action.
2. Preparation: Your attitude, your patience, your work before you provide feedback, and your goal of the feedback, must be in place before you tackle giving feedback. On the receiving end of feedback, remember it is a gift. Effective feedback ultimately is given to change a behavior or action, its primary goal. Make sure if you are providing feedback you know what you want to accomplish. When receiving feedback, listen carefully to what is said. It will be key to you changing, or at least evaluating what is being asked of you to change.
3. Talent Management: A secondary goal of feedback for the giver and receiver is ensuring the success of the person. The organization will always benefit. The advantage you give someone by providing them effective feedback is to make them a better leader, valuable to the organization, and setting them up for success in the future. When you take care of your followers or leaders, then there is improved commitment to the organization. It also role models an ideal professional characteristic of caring for each other.
4. Continuous: Feedback should be a continuous process in our daily work lives. It should not be presented at only prescribed times and should include formal and informal feedback. Additionally, receiving feedback and implementing change should be a part of who you are as a leader. If you get to the point where you don’t think you need feedback, it might be time for you to move on.

Thank you Ian Patterson!

Your words of encouragement and feedback were a direct hit to me. It was a reminder that feedback is needed by everyone. Accepting that feedback though is a personal choice and a professional responsibility. You finished your comments with the following and it is so appropriate to finish this blog with them.

“Good feedback is a dying art these days. No one is perfect and beyond mistakes.”

Leading with you!

Dean

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