5 Ways to Be a Terrible Boss: # 4: The Gossip Leader

This 5 part series is about ways in which you can be seen as a terrible boss. I do NOT want you to be seen that way. This blog post along with the last 3 and the next blog posts are going to be about behaviors which are viewed as being terrible to your followers. It’s not too late to change…we all act like this from time to time.

Disaster, loss of reputation, low morale, and painfully unprofessional are ways to describe what happens if you are a Gossip Leader. Have you been around a leader who seems to have the latest know on everyone, and is telling it to everyone? Leadership is a trusted position. In a position of leadership, you become privy to information others in the organization do not have access. A trusted position requires the leader to know when to share information and when not to share.

Yet leaders can very insidiously fall victim to being that leader which shares too much. Good intentions aside, the ability to discern what should be shared and when it can be shared might be difficult. Leaders need to practice and hone those skills regularly for the health of their organization. Without discretion, sharing information that should remain private can destroy your reputation.

When looking at the information trail or the communication need in an organization, it is best to treat followers’ personal lives, disciplinary actions, and organization issues similarly to protected health information. If there is not a need to know, then you should be cautious about sharing. The leader should carefully evaluate the information being shared and consider if it is shared inappropriately, how that will reflect on you as a person or on your reputation as a leader.

If you are viewed as a Gossip Leader, you instantly become distrusted by followers. This distrust quickly dissolves into organizational dynamics and manifests itself in behaviors such as followers looking to blame others in the unit for issues. When a follower discusses with a leader about the perceived unfairness and that follower then hears a coworker discussing the same topic with others and attributing the problem to the issue raised, then blaming begins. Coworkers then stop performing at their highest level or do not raise concerns for fear they will be talked about when not around. Team efforts are undermined and organizational effectiveness is reduced.

Another behavior which will manifest if there is a Gossip Leader is followers tend to stop taking responsibility for their actions. Even if their actions are correct, the fear of being discussed with others when not present is inhibiting. And if they are unsure how they will be represented or perceived, then they will not seek to take responsibility for their actions. This is compounded when things are done incorrectly and now the culture of avoiding responsibility is well ground. Trust was lost and now there is an organization where responsibility avoidance is the norm.

Don’t forget, we as leaders can or have exhibited these behaviors discussed in this series on how to be a terrible boss. My experience with leaders I have coached, it is not uncommon. Don’t beat yourself up…to much! The important thing is to now identify this behavior and to stop. This series is written to help you work through all 5 behaviors and improve your leadership.

So what can you do?

Let me share with you 4 ways in which you can identify and stop the behaviors which will identify you as a Gossip Leader.

1. Establish personal boundaries. Setting boundaries with superiors, peers, and subordinates is dynamically important. When you are establishing yourself as a leader, it is important to realize that what you say and do is monitored, even if you don’t see it. Establishing your leadership ethos to carefully guard personal affairs will be paramount to maintaining your integrity as a leader. Before you share personal, disciplinary, or professional information, determine if it is something that should be shared outside that person for whom you are speaking about. What is the gain? Is it to seek favor, to seem connected, or to have a power position to show how much you know? These toxic behaviors will not benefit your position as a leader. Set early how you will handle your relationship information and how you will share it.
2. Monitor discussions. Once you have established personal boundaries, then you have the responsibility as a leader to monitor your discussions. This is easier if you have an accountability peer who can help you if you start to stray off topic. When leaders get together, it is common to share struggles and problems. When it starts going off topic into divisive language and tearing down another unit or person, Gossip Leadership is usually involved. The struggle now is to control that behavior. As the conversation devolves, remember that your integrity and reputation are more important to sharing or discussing information not needing to be shared.
3. Character of professional responsibilities. A solid way to guard and protect against falling into the trap of being a Gossip Leader is to set up a culture of professional responsibility. As when in a group of leaders and the discussion naturally turn to a common enemy, everyone joins in. There is bonding over a common “enemy”. The problem comes when the initial discussion then turns into a full out discussion over EVERYTHING good, bad, or indifferent on that person. Creating a personal culture of professional responsibility means you and your peers would identify and stop that discussion.

  As nurses, we hold the trust of our patients and should hold the trust of fellow clinicians and leaders.  If you are not known as having the character of being a professional, then we have no right to consider ourselves professional. Your character of taking professional responsibility means you admit when you were in the wrong, correct the mistake, and move forward in a more professional manner.

4. Forgiveness: One of the most difficult things for leaders is to admit they were wrong. If you have identified where you have shown the behavior of being a Gossip Leader, and it has hurt someone, then you have the professional responsibility to apologize. Likewise, if you have been the recipient of the Gossip Leader behaviors, then forgive the leader. Leadership is a journey. You now have the insight and responsibility to ensure this behavior is not manifested in your leadership.

Gossip Leaders are toxic. And honestly, it is easy to use the behavior and not fully be aware you are acting this way. Without closely monitoring your discussions about a person you work with, you have the ability to slip into sharing information you shouldn’t. Clearly, that is not how you most excellent leaders want to be known. We need to support each other to eradicate this behavior in nursing and healthcare. Let’s hold each other accountable and stop this behavior before we lose more nurses to bad leadership!

Leading with you!

Dean

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